xxamb3r (xxamb3r) wrote,

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                                         LIFE ISNT GOOD.

              someone please telll me why my life is falling apart?.. i cant understand the   things i see infront of me. i dont want what i got no more.

            woke up with my eyes soaked. i had the worse night mear about me and anton. and the funny thing is its true. so then i got in the shower and did my make up real cute. did my hair. got dressed. sarah came and picked me up and we went to school.

                    then first hour i slept the whole time. then when i woke up jerrod came and talked to me. im glad that when i come to school i can atleast smile once. theres always jerrod. everyone thinks i like him lol. but i dont hes just the only person who takes some stress off my back when i need it off.

                   second hour we had wieght training lmao oo you bess belive i was the strongest chick in there man. seriously i was pickin up 230 with my leggs. lol ooo baby im strong lol. i left earlie and went in the bathroom to cry. im just not happy.

                 on the way to third hour i was walking down the hall with brittany and we were talking. and jacquel and willie thought it was sooo funny to piss me off. so they kept walking infront of me so i cuddnt get to class on time. so i got pissed and i screamed get tha fuck outta my way u fat mother fucker. and he turned around and punched brittany and she fell on the ground.

                    So then i was like fuck you mother fucker and i punched him in his face. i heard his jaw pop and ecko through the halls. he punched me in tha back 4 times. gave me a bloody lip. pulled my hair and knocked me into the wall. and i was crying. hes a 230 pound blk guy. hes 1000 times stronger then me. and yeah i can take anee gurl i want. but hes a fucking guy. im not ganna sit here and say im ganna beat his ass. hes a fucking guy.

                     so then when i was walking away i was screaming shit at him. and i was crying soo hard. and he grabbed my arm and stuck his nails into my arm. and i was bleeding some more. so i went into the bathroom crying. screaming hitting the stalls. and brittany gave me a square cause i needed one. well miss B came in and caught me. she told on me and i got in trouble. got a fucking smoking ticket.

                went back to class. roger kept being so gay. i wasnt in the mood. jerrod wasnt in class. and pat was across the room.

                       lunch time i cried agen. went in the bathroom juss layed there on the sink crying. i was sooo upset

                 fourth hour. matt was suspended. no one was in class. i went to sleep.

                fifth hour - sleep

                             sixth hour - sleep

                                             seventh hour - bounced with brittany and we went to her house. me her and her brother chilled. smoked a fatty. then we ate some pizza and then brandon came and picked us up. we went to joels house in chesterfield. we walked out to the water and went out to the deck walked all the way out. omfg soooo pretty. reminded me of florida soo much. then we drove around for a lil. went home around 8

            i dont even know what there is to say. me and anton are falling apart. theres no more feeling to feel. i juss wanna die. i wanna get away from him. he tears me apart peice by peice. and i just cant take it .. i dont deserve it. i called him juiss to tell him im home and i miss him soo much. he wuddnt say i love you. and he was in a hurry to get off the phone with me.

                      then i called him and told him im going to bed ... he said okay bye .. hung up on me while i was in the middle of still talking. now i lay here numb and upset. my face is hot from crying., and my face is all wet. theres mascara on my pillows. and all over my cheecks. ive been crying all day.

                   it hurts soooo bad because when he comes home hes ganna make me all happy again. then tomorow hell go back to making me sad. he onlee makes me happy when hes alone. when he has no one else to talk to. he uses me ... i cant take it no more


hell see some day what hes missing out on .. im toooooooooooooo goood 4 him.

ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 is away at 12:40:39 AM.
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 returned at 1:02:11 AM.
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 is away at 1:08:26 AM.
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 returned at 1:15:05 AM.
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 is away at 1:15:11 AM.
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 returned at 2:39:19 AM.
XbOdAcIoUsCuTiEx: hi?
XbOdAcIoUsCuTiEx: umm guess u werent ganna im me
XbOdAcIoUsCuTiEx: aiight peace then'
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1: Hol up
ALBOZ 4 EVA 1 signed off at 2:41:00 AM.



                   im just                                 H.U.R.T.

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